Ubiq's Movie Quest


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A Critic From Far Far Away...

Ubiq is a transdimensional critic with an intolerably long lifespan, and he has come to earth to watch our movies.

His species hails from planet Critereon, where “the Council of Intergalactic Criticism” resides; a cosmic tribunal whose purpose is to seek out and study all media produced by sentient life in the Universe, judge it, preserve it, and catelog it within massive supercomputers that have toiled for millenia to discover the meaning of existence.

It was foretold by ancient prophecy that the primary secret crucial to the “ultimate revelation” are encoded in the multitudes of films produced by humans on the planet earth. Why humans, you might ask? There are many species throughout the galaxies, but rarely do they bestow upon the cosmos such auteurs as Stanley Kubrik or Neil Breen. Tommy Wiseau, however, is definitely an alien who was booted from his homeworld for various reasons.

Henceforth, Ubiq - accompanied by his sporadically loyal assistants Riggs the zombie and the spunky, ectoplasmic RJ Spookington - begins his 100 year mission: to watch as many movies as it takes, until he has gathered and assessed enough data to earn his way back home...

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Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983)

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Three women make an emergency landing on a planet suffering from a plague and are acquired by Mad-Maxian Cyberpunk dictator Overdog. Rogue stud Wolff (Peter Strauss) mounts a rescue and is soon saddled with an obnoxious Molly Ringwald as Niki, an abandoned Earthling.

Shockingly, Wolff is a gentleman... eventually. It takes some time to get over a dead girlfriend, even if she was an android.

Hey, Ernie Hudson is in this!

the Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

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Buckaroo Banzai (Peter Weller) is a rock star, a vigilante, a renowned Surgeon, physicist, you name it. An experiment to phase a vehicle through solid matter sends Buckaroo into the eighth dimension and when he returns, he brings back a few problems that only he and his rag tag crew of loyal friends can handle.

Villainous aliens lead by an electric and vaguely Swedish-sounding John Lithgow are bent on world domination, and they will do anything, including kidnapping Buckaroo's dead wife's twin sister to do it!

Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

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Babysitting can be difficult, and quite frankly, lead to city-spanning antics and death defying stunts. Just ask Elizabeth Shue, who wasn't always a stripper falling in love with a depressed, drunken Nicolas Cage.

80's movies empowered generations of snot-nosed kids to endanger themselves and others for the sake of a good adventure.By the way, did you know that Vincent Denofrio was Thor before he was Kingpin? I just blew your MIND.

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1989)

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During the "Age of Reason" of the late 18th century, the Turkish army lays siege to a European city where a theater production about the extraordinary heroics of famed German aristocrat Baron Münchhausen is underway.

A man steps forward to object that the performance is full of inaccuracies, claiming that he is the real Baron Münchhausen (John Neville). When the Turkish army approaches with gunfire, the baron undertakes his latest adventure with his promise to defend the city.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1987)

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Bill Esquire (Alex Winters) and Ted Theodore Logan (Keannu Reeves) have the raw passion of rock and roll coursing through their young veins, but unfortunately, they don't have the mental aptitude for high school, and they sure as hell don't know how to play their instruments. Wyld Stallions is a band in theory only.

Or so it would seem, until future guru of cool Rufus (George Carlin) arrives in a time-hopping telephone booth to alert them to their true destiny; to be the greatest roick stars fo all time nd save the world from... sucking?

Pee Wee's Big Adventure (1985)

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We've all known strangely dressed manchildren with off-beat tendencies, but Pee-Wee Herman isn't your average strangely dressed manchild with off-beat tendencies.

Pee-Wee (Paul Ruebens) has many possessions, but none so beloved as his red bicycle, which mysteriously disappears when he's patronizing a magic shop. What begins as a mystery turns into a cross-country adventure, resplendant with unusual characters and unforeseen danger!